Adjusting to a new normal is harder than I thought...
I knew I'd miss Israel, I guess I just didn't know I'd miss it this much. So what do I miss so much? Yes of course I miss my friends, I miss Tel Aviv nightlife, but really I miss how I felt while being there. I felt like more of myself, I felt free, I felt embraced, and I felt sure. Since I've been home I really haven't felt any of this. I've been away from home so long that I don't really have many friends here, so it's kind of like starting over, but not quite. Trying to make friends in a place where people know you, but not really, but they have opinions of you nevertheless, makes things a little weird. Coming back to a place where people have all of these expectations of me and for me makes it hard for me to feel like myself. I felt so sure and hopeful before and being here I've started to doubt myself. Mainly because people keep questioning my decisions. I know this is normal, but sometimes you just don't want to have to defend yourself an...