The best thing about being single
Today a trending topic on twitter is #BestThingsAboutBeingSingle. One of my favorite quotes from SATC is "Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you....Now it means that you're pretty, sexy, and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with". I guess ever since last night's post I'd been thinking about the past few years that I've been single. If I am honest I think it's been probably the best 3 years of my life so far. I've learned so much about myself. It definitely hasn't been easy and all of it was not great but overall I truly believe I've finally began to find myself. I found my voice, I found more of my personality and who I am, it was my time to begin my self discovery. I had some very dark moments, but I also had lots of fun along the way. I have times when I miss being in a relationship and desire to have a loving partner again, but like I said last night I have come to terms with the situation and stand firm that, I'd rather be alone than to be in the wrong relationship.
The past 3 years I have had so much time to be free and fun loving. Once you've gone through the dark grieving stages and find the strength to pick yourself up from all the pity you've been wallowing in you seem to find a new sense of self, well at least I did. I started doing all the things I'd been interested in and found new passions and became adventurous and free spirited. Attributes that before now I didn't really know I was capable of.
The first thing I did was I decided to try pole dancing. Before you get any freaking ideas I am not and NEVER have been a stripper. I took a class in an ALL Women's studio and immediately fell in love. It was my release. I was not good at first and never thought I'd love it so much, but it's so fun and addicting. I took one class and immediately after signed up for a series and kept going from there. I'd always been shy, quiet and body conscious. But after 6mths to a year of pole dancing I don't know that anyone would believe me now if they met me. I am still quiet sometimes, but my shyness is far less obvious and I am significantly less body shy. I learned to feel sexy too; that was something I definitely stuggled with and still do sometimes. I was in an environment with women of all different shapes and sizes, backgrounds and professions. We were all on an equal playing field and we all expressed our art differently. It was beautiful, uplifting and liberating. Its easy to let go of your inhibitions when you have that kind of energy around you. I know it probably seems crazy to have such positive things to say about pole dancing, something most automatically assume the worst about and think of stripping. But like the saying goes.... don't knock it until you try it. Oh and it's a great work out too! You try lifting your entire body weight and throwing yourself upside down and hang by one toe and you'll see. Oh and on top of the exercise and personal growth I got from pole dancing I also made some pretty amazing friends.
To continue my adventurous, free spiritedness I then began indoor rock climbing, something I'd never thought I would like, and kinda really enjoy now. I don't do it all that often, but whenever I can I like to. It's a good workout and challenging at the same time. I also went to surf camp for a week in Costa Rica with one of my friends I met through pole dancing! It was awesome, I fell in love with Costa Rica, not so much with surfing, but the trip was a great time. And now I can at least say I've tried surfing. I am never going to be a pro surfer, it's not my gift, but I've done it. I went on a ski vacation with my family and learned to snow board.... I'm still not good, but this is something I'd like to do again and continue to get better at.
Long story short I spent lots of time with my friends and doing things that I wanted to do, things that I enjoyed or wanted to try. I stopped letting what other people thought or how they'd feel control my decisions and I started making decisions for me. I went on great vacations with my girlfriends and I spent time alone. If I wanted to see a movie or go for dinner and nobody else was able to go I'd go alone. Some of my friends think I am weird for this one, but I figure I can't put my desires on hold just because other people can't join. It's ok to do some things alone sometimes and given that I am introverted it's pretty good for my soul to be alone.
Being single has allowed me to reflect and discover me. The person I am today is not the same girl as 3 years ago. The same girl 3 years ago probably wouldn't be boarding a plane to Israel soon to move to the middle east for a year. I'd have been too scared and worried about what everyone else thought and wanted me to do to do something so gutsy. I remember when I first broke up with my ex I was so angry and then when the pain hit I was in a dark place for a while and someone told me that in time it will all make sense. Words that didn't really help at the time because it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but now in this space that I am in now they are words that I can appreciate. Everything happens for a reason. My being single at this point in my life was to teach me to be comfortable and confident in who I am. I had to foster a relationship with myself and grow as a person and I needed to do that independent of a relationship with another person. The lessons I've learn in the past 3 years are invaluable to my future. I am not saying I'm perfect and that I've got life all figured out or anything like that, but I am saying that I am evolving and growing everyday. Isn't that a big part of becoming an adult? I still have flaws, as everyone does, but I am more aware of who I am as a person today and am loving the person I'm becoming and the friends that I've made. I can appreciate the experiences I've had and find the lessons in them.
I don't intend on being single forever, but while I am, I am going to embrace it so when I do find the right relationship hopefully it'll be a great and lasting love. I'm going to continue to grow and learn, but most importantly I am going to continue this relationship I have with myself. Carrie said it best, "The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous".
The past 3 years I have had so much time to be free and fun loving. Once you've gone through the dark grieving stages and find the strength to pick yourself up from all the pity you've been wallowing in you seem to find a new sense of self, well at least I did. I started doing all the things I'd been interested in and found new passions and became adventurous and free spirited. Attributes that before now I didn't really know I was capable of.
The first thing I did was I decided to try pole dancing. Before you get any freaking ideas I am not and NEVER have been a stripper. I took a class in an ALL Women's studio and immediately fell in love. It was my release. I was not good at first and never thought I'd love it so much, but it's so fun and addicting. I took one class and immediately after signed up for a series and kept going from there. I'd always been shy, quiet and body conscious. But after 6mths to a year of pole dancing I don't know that anyone would believe me now if they met me. I am still quiet sometimes, but my shyness is far less obvious and I am significantly less body shy. I learned to feel sexy too; that was something I definitely stuggled with and still do sometimes. I was in an environment with women of all different shapes and sizes, backgrounds and professions. We were all on an equal playing field and we all expressed our art differently. It was beautiful, uplifting and liberating. Its easy to let go of your inhibitions when you have that kind of energy around you. I know it probably seems crazy to have such positive things to say about pole dancing, something most automatically assume the worst about and think of stripping. But like the saying goes.... don't knock it until you try it. Oh and it's a great work out too! You try lifting your entire body weight and throwing yourself upside down and hang by one toe and you'll see. Oh and on top of the exercise and personal growth I got from pole dancing I also made some pretty amazing friends.
To continue my adventurous, free spiritedness I then began indoor rock climbing, something I'd never thought I would like, and kinda really enjoy now. I don't do it all that often, but whenever I can I like to. It's a good workout and challenging at the same time. I also went to surf camp for a week in Costa Rica with one of my friends I met through pole dancing! It was awesome, I fell in love with Costa Rica, not so much with surfing, but the trip was a great time. And now I can at least say I've tried surfing. I am never going to be a pro surfer, it's not my gift, but I've done it. I went on a ski vacation with my family and learned to snow board.... I'm still not good, but this is something I'd like to do again and continue to get better at.
Long story short I spent lots of time with my friends and doing things that I wanted to do, things that I enjoyed or wanted to try. I stopped letting what other people thought or how they'd feel control my decisions and I started making decisions for me. I went on great vacations with my girlfriends and I spent time alone. If I wanted to see a movie or go for dinner and nobody else was able to go I'd go alone. Some of my friends think I am weird for this one, but I figure I can't put my desires on hold just because other people can't join. It's ok to do some things alone sometimes and given that I am introverted it's pretty good for my soul to be alone.
Being single has allowed me to reflect and discover me. The person I am today is not the same girl as 3 years ago. The same girl 3 years ago probably wouldn't be boarding a plane to Israel soon to move to the middle east for a year. I'd have been too scared and worried about what everyone else thought and wanted me to do to do something so gutsy. I remember when I first broke up with my ex I was so angry and then when the pain hit I was in a dark place for a while and someone told me that in time it will all make sense. Words that didn't really help at the time because it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but now in this space that I am in now they are words that I can appreciate. Everything happens for a reason. My being single at this point in my life was to teach me to be comfortable and confident in who I am. I had to foster a relationship with myself and grow as a person and I needed to do that independent of a relationship with another person. The lessons I've learn in the past 3 years are invaluable to my future. I am not saying I'm perfect and that I've got life all figured out or anything like that, but I am saying that I am evolving and growing everyday. Isn't that a big part of becoming an adult? I still have flaws, as everyone does, but I am more aware of who I am as a person today and am loving the person I'm becoming and the friends that I've made. I can appreciate the experiences I've had and find the lessons in them.
I don't intend on being single forever, but while I am, I am going to embrace it so when I do find the right relationship hopefully it'll be a great and lasting love. I'm going to continue to grow and learn, but most importantly I am going to continue this relationship I have with myself. Carrie said it best, "The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous".
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