Body Positivity
I saw a post on Facebook today from a friend noting their struggle with body positivity and it inspired me to write. I was very body shy for most of my life, I felt very awkward in my body for all of my teens, until probably my mid twenties. I know it must seem odd that I struggled with body positivity when I’ve been petite my whole life.
I was always athletic and until my early twenties I was always very thin, I was a double zero until my senior year of college. To give some perspective it’s so thin, it’s a size I never hope to see again. I never made it over 105lbs, which is insane as I went to college in America; with access to all of the junk food you can imagine. I remember the weight because I could never donate blood, and I’m a universal donor and always wanted to donate whenever there were campus drives; but never met the weight requirement.
I was a very thin, shapeless, athletic looking, tomboy, who disliked her body. Everyone else had shapely figures by their teens, they grew big boobs, and well I had none of that. I was flat chested pretty much, was an A cup until early 20s, and all my teens brought me were lots of stretch marks. I had the “bikini body”, but always covered my bottoms with shorts when I went to the beach because of my stretch marks.
Then my senior year of college rolled around, I injured myself during track season and couldn’t work out for a while, that’s when I started to gain weight. I broke the 105 mark, and when I look back on it I was never really fat, but people would call me fat. I had the delayed “freshman 15”, I got the senior 15. It made me very self conscious! This shape I was longing for was finally coming, but now I’m being told I’m fat. I’d never been called fat in my life, and at that point someone calling my 21 year old self fat made me even more self conscious. I got hips and thighs, a little booty too, my breasts got fuller and I could no longer fit in my old clothes; I really started to believe I was fat. Craziness, I know, in what world is 120lbs fat?!
I started working so my exercise became less frequent and of course I gained even more weight. It took me years to realize that this is normal! Life happens to us all and monitoring ourselves by weight alone is stupid, we all carry weight differently. I don’t even own a scale, I barely weigh myself, only at the doctor’s office really, and I focus on feeling good. Once my clothes fit I’m good.
How I gained this comfort with my body you might ask?! Well the simple and real answer is that I started pole dancing. Not stripping, I joined a women’s only pole fitness studio in my mid twenties and in the halls of that place of fitness, fun, creativity and womanhood, grew the body confident and comfortable woman I’ve become. I had no choice but to get comfortable with my body. I was surrounded by women of all shapes, backgrounds, ethnicities, ages and experiences, but we all bonded over our addiction to the pole. Once you’ve become addicted to pole you are forced to get comfortable with your body because you are driven to learn how to maneuver and manipulate it on the pole. Manipulating your body on a pole is also the one place I know that excess clothing is a safety risk! You need skin contact to lock yourself in the positions, trust me pole burn is REAL!
My desire to be better and learn more advanced tricks meant I had to let go of my shorts and get comfortable walking around in front of people in my underwear, pretty much. Needless to say I got really comfortable. Now I don’t even think about my stretch marks, I’m very comfortable in only a bikini and I’m a lot more comfortable in my body.
We all have weight struggles we all fluctuate in size, but over time I’ve learned to stop beating myself up about being perfect and just focus on feeling good and being comfortable. My obsession with my body has become more about what I can do with my body and less about what it looks like. Yes I care about what it looks like, but I don’t deny myself food or do anything restrictive just to look a certain way. I focus my efforts on being stronger. Even that has its challenges, some days I can do more than others, but this isn’t called a journey for nothing. Being fit and healthy is a personal endeavor, it is never perfect nor is it easy.
However, I know I’ll never be stick thin again nor do I want to be. Focusing on what makes you feel your best and where you’re comfortable and healthy in your body is the key! I know it’s easier said than done because we are often flooded with airbrushed imagines of these “perfect” bodies, but they’re not real! Forget the fake news, live in reality, accept your body for what it is and what it does for you! Then you do your best to enjoy it, embrace it, challenge it, and work for the body you desire for yourself. Unless you’re a professional athlete and working out is your job, your body fat percentage will never be “perfect”.
We all have rolls, we all have our personal challenges with our body, mine is my core. We have to still love our bodies with the flaws, they're normal; be proud of it, and most of all be kind to it! You only get one body, love it, because it’s the only place you have to live!
I hope this helps someone, somewhere find some peace.
I was always athletic and until my early twenties I was always very thin, I was a double zero until my senior year of college. To give some perspective it’s so thin, it’s a size I never hope to see again. I never made it over 105lbs, which is insane as I went to college in America; with access to all of the junk food you can imagine. I remember the weight because I could never donate blood, and I’m a universal donor and always wanted to donate whenever there were campus drives; but never met the weight requirement.
I was a very thin, shapeless, athletic looking, tomboy, who disliked her body. Everyone else had shapely figures by their teens, they grew big boobs, and well I had none of that. I was flat chested pretty much, was an A cup until early 20s, and all my teens brought me were lots of stretch marks. I had the “bikini body”, but always covered my bottoms with shorts when I went to the beach because of my stretch marks.
Then my senior year of college rolled around, I injured myself during track season and couldn’t work out for a while, that’s when I started to gain weight. I broke the 105 mark, and when I look back on it I was never really fat, but people would call me fat. I had the delayed “freshman 15”, I got the senior 15. It made me very self conscious! This shape I was longing for was finally coming, but now I’m being told I’m fat. I’d never been called fat in my life, and at that point someone calling my 21 year old self fat made me even more self conscious. I got hips and thighs, a little booty too, my breasts got fuller and I could no longer fit in my old clothes; I really started to believe I was fat. Craziness, I know, in what world is 120lbs fat?!
I started working so my exercise became less frequent and of course I gained even more weight. It took me years to realize that this is normal! Life happens to us all and monitoring ourselves by weight alone is stupid, we all carry weight differently. I don’t even own a scale, I barely weigh myself, only at the doctor’s office really, and I focus on feeling good. Once my clothes fit I’m good.
How I gained this comfort with my body you might ask?! Well the simple and real answer is that I started pole dancing. Not stripping, I joined a women’s only pole fitness studio in my mid twenties and in the halls of that place of fitness, fun, creativity and womanhood, grew the body confident and comfortable woman I’ve become. I had no choice but to get comfortable with my body. I was surrounded by women of all shapes, backgrounds, ethnicities, ages and experiences, but we all bonded over our addiction to the pole. Once you’ve become addicted to pole you are forced to get comfortable with your body because you are driven to learn how to maneuver and manipulate it on the pole. Manipulating your body on a pole is also the one place I know that excess clothing is a safety risk! You need skin contact to lock yourself in the positions, trust me pole burn is REAL!
My desire to be better and learn more advanced tricks meant I had to let go of my shorts and get comfortable walking around in front of people in my underwear, pretty much. Needless to say I got really comfortable. Now I don’t even think about my stretch marks, I’m very comfortable in only a bikini and I’m a lot more comfortable in my body.
We all have weight struggles we all fluctuate in size, but over time I’ve learned to stop beating myself up about being perfect and just focus on feeling good and being comfortable. My obsession with my body has become more about what I can do with my body and less about what it looks like. Yes I care about what it looks like, but I don’t deny myself food or do anything restrictive just to look a certain way. I focus my efforts on being stronger. Even that has its challenges, some days I can do more than others, but this isn’t called a journey for nothing. Being fit and healthy is a personal endeavor, it is never perfect nor is it easy.
However, I know I’ll never be stick thin again nor do I want to be. Focusing on what makes you feel your best and where you’re comfortable and healthy in your body is the key! I know it’s easier said than done because we are often flooded with airbrushed imagines of these “perfect” bodies, but they’re not real! Forget the fake news, live in reality, accept your body for what it is and what it does for you! Then you do your best to enjoy it, embrace it, challenge it, and work for the body you desire for yourself. Unless you’re a professional athlete and working out is your job, your body fat percentage will never be “perfect”.
We all have rolls, we all have our personal challenges with our body, mine is my core. We have to still love our bodies with the flaws, they're normal; be proud of it, and most of all be kind to it! You only get one body, love it, because it’s the only place you have to live!
I hope this helps someone, somewhere find some peace.
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