She loved you even though she never met you....

Losing a loved one is always so difficult. Some days are fine and others I'm just a mess. I try to be strong most of the times, but I just can't control my emotions sometimes. Right now is one of those moments.

The simple act of breaking off a piece of chocolate from the refrigerator brought on a whole pile of emotions. BACKGROUND: I went to boarding school in England, and there I fell in love with Galaxy chocolate, it's so creamy and delicious.... Anyway I can't get it anywhere else in the world, so now that my best friend is in Law school in England she sends me chocolate as a consolation for not conversing with me much anymore. You know with all that studying and stuff...not that chocolate is a substitute for chats with the bestie, but I understand and graciously eat to my heart's content! Anyway I digress, breaking off a piece of chocolate set me in to tears because I could hear my grammy asking me what I was getting in the kitchen and then asking me to bring her a piece of chocolate too. Not only because she also now loves the chocolate, but because her beloved Zoe sent it all the way from England, and in her mind Zoe only ever sent gifts for her. :)

This then got me to thinking about how for as long as I can I remember I always prayed to God that my grammy would live long enough to see me get married and have kids. It was one of my greatest wishes. When my best friend Tiana got married, my grammy went to a dress fitting with her in Atlanta, and she came home so excited and overjoyed. I remembered her saying to me I can't wait for you to get married. Whenever any of my friends had kids, she was always so happy. When I graduated from my master's program, she would always talk about her grandbabies.

It makes me so sad that she'll never be here for whenever I get married, and my kid(s) will never get to meet her, feel her touch, or hear her call them "pooks". All of the experiences I always wished I would have with my grandmother will never happen, but I am so grateful that someone I love so much and who shares the same birthday as her, got to experience all of those moments with her. She at least got to share the moments with one of her girls! :)

What's even more powerful is though my grandmother will never meet her future great grandchildren they will definitely know she loved them without ever meeting them!

I love you so much grammy! I know you're my greatest Angel!

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