I wish heaven had a phone number!

Woke up this morning, feeling quite numb. It was on this morning one year ago, that my mother woke me up very early on her way to work, saying my grammy wasn't responding to her, come and check on her. I immediately jumped up and went to my grandmother's room, all the while knowing that something must be wrong. I tried to get her to answer me, but there was no response, I tried to find her pulse, but there was none. I immediately called her doctor, who rushed over to the house, to confirm what I already knew, my grandmother was no longer with us.

It's been a year, and I still miss you like it was yesterday. I think about you every day, sometimes I lay down in your bed just to feel near to you. There have been so many days that all I've needed is to lay in bed and talk to you. The house hasn't been the same without you here. Axel still looks for you every morning. It breaks my heart that we can't be near you anymore.

I never knew how I would handle your death, you were the most important person in my life. I thought for sure that you would die and I would crumble, but somehow when you became my angel, you passed me your strength. I know that it is you that holds me up every day, when on so many days I've just wanted to fall.

I wish I could hear your voice again, I wish that I could tell you how sad I was when you couldn't be the first person I told that I got into my doctoral program. I wish we could have more of our soothing chats, when I am mad, and you're the only person who can calm me down. I wish heaven had a phone number, so that I could just hear your voice again!