Your sun may have set today, but I will love you always!
Today I lost another grandparent. My paternal grandmother Daisy Mae Nottage passed away. She was 81 years old and one fiery old lady! Had she lived, she'd have been 82 on the 28th of this month.
My grandmother was a pipe smoking, strong willed, potty mouth lady, but to know her was to love her. She was a hard-working, fiercely independent person; up until the point that she got really sick and weak with cancer she took total care of herself.
Growing up my grandmother always lived on another island from me, Andros was 15minute flight away from Nassau, so I'd take trips to go see my grammy. I'd hang out in the bar at her little motel while she was in the back farming and then she'd come and make me food and we sit in the kitchen or on the porch and talk. She was funny. She'd always make me laugh hysterically. During those trips to Andros we'd have our one-on-one bonding time. It was great to be able to have those times with her.
After I left for boarding school and then college, and then working etc. those times became few and far between. However since her battle with cancer began my grandmother and I spent more hours on the phone and together while she was in the hospital than I think I'd spent with her all of those other times combined.
I have a terrible fear of hospitals but it's surprising the things you do for the people you love. I spent hours over the few months I was home this summer in the hospital with her. We got to talk and laugh like old times. Though she was not strong enough to walk and was in a lot of pain she was still so happy to see me all the time. I am so thankful that I had that free time to connect with my grammy again and be there for her when she needed me most.
She told me right before I left that I need to have kids soon, as she did countless times! LOL And she told me she was happy for me and proud of me and encouraged me to think about getting my Phd. This one I'm still not sure about, but it's at least on my radar now.
I left home knowing that my grandmother didn't have much longer to live. Her cancer was spreading and her condition was getting much worse. The doctors had said there was nothing left they could do. She lived longer than they expected, but it doesn't matter how much you know it's coming when the day comes it still sucks. My heart is still heavy! :(
I got to speak to my grandmother on the phone last week and she was in so much pain. I could hear it in her voice. Usually when I call to speak to her she perks up and I can hear the excitement in her voice, not this time. This time it was different, this time I knew that it was all real and the end was near. That was a tough conversation, but I am so happy I got to tell her that I loved her and she told me she loved me too and even though I am thousands of miles away in that moment I felt as if I was right there with her.
Today's kinda tough, but I am so happy she's no longer suffering. I am so happy she's no longer in pain and I am so grateful for the countless hours I got to spend with her again before I left home.
Today I may have lost my grandmother but I know she will now be my guardian angel. You are no longer with us, but I will carry you in my heart.
Grammy Daisy I love you always!
My grandmother was a pipe smoking, strong willed, potty mouth lady, but to know her was to love her. She was a hard-working, fiercely independent person; up until the point that she got really sick and weak with cancer she took total care of herself.
Growing up my grandmother always lived on another island from me, Andros was 15minute flight away from Nassau, so I'd take trips to go see my grammy. I'd hang out in the bar at her little motel while she was in the back farming and then she'd come and make me food and we sit in the kitchen or on the porch and talk. She was funny. She'd always make me laugh hysterically. During those trips to Andros we'd have our one-on-one bonding time. It was great to be able to have those times with her.
After I left for boarding school and then college, and then working etc. those times became few and far between. However since her battle with cancer began my grandmother and I spent more hours on the phone and together while she was in the hospital than I think I'd spent with her all of those other times combined.
I have a terrible fear of hospitals but it's surprising the things you do for the people you love. I spent hours over the few months I was home this summer in the hospital with her. We got to talk and laugh like old times. Though she was not strong enough to walk and was in a lot of pain she was still so happy to see me all the time. I am so thankful that I had that free time to connect with my grammy again and be there for her when she needed me most.
She told me right before I left that I need to have kids soon, as she did countless times! LOL And she told me she was happy for me and proud of me and encouraged me to think about getting my Phd. This one I'm still not sure about, but it's at least on my radar now.
I left home knowing that my grandmother didn't have much longer to live. Her cancer was spreading and her condition was getting much worse. The doctors had said there was nothing left they could do. She lived longer than they expected, but it doesn't matter how much you know it's coming when the day comes it still sucks. My heart is still heavy! :(
I got to speak to my grandmother on the phone last week and she was in so much pain. I could hear it in her voice. Usually when I call to speak to her she perks up and I can hear the excitement in her voice, not this time. This time it was different, this time I knew that it was all real and the end was near. That was a tough conversation, but I am so happy I got to tell her that I loved her and she told me she loved me too and even though I am thousands of miles away in that moment I felt as if I was right there with her.
Today's kinda tough, but I am so happy she's no longer suffering. I am so happy she's no longer in pain and I am so grateful for the countless hours I got to spend with her again before I left home.
Today I may have lost my grandmother but I know she will now be my guardian angel. You are no longer with us, but I will carry you in my heart.
Grammy Daisy I love you always!
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| This is the way I'll remember you! |
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