The Funny Side of Dating
Being single/dating is an experience. I can't really think of another word to describe it at this moment.I've said this before, but I'll say it again, I rather be single than with the wrong person, but getting to the right person has been quite an eventful process to say the least. I remember seeing somewhere that when you find the person you're meant to be with you will understand why it never worked out with anyone else. After the experiences I have had the past few months I sure hope this is true.
The past few months I have had nothing short of pure comedic experiences. I mean experiences so weird that I have to laugh not to pity myself and cry. I don't know if I am the only single girl feeling this way, but I swear some of my experiences are so strange I wonder if I am the only person that these things happen to. I have had so many "This really just happened to me" moments recently that I am beginning to wonder.
I am going to share some of the highlights of my weird experiences of the past couple months and if there are any single girls out that want to compare strange experiences I'd appreciate it. It'll help me not feel so alone in my weirdness. LOL.
So where to start.... ok here, let's start with this one. I had a guy lick my face. I'm not opposed to licking at all, but I'd rather you kiss my lips than lick my face. Call me weird if you want but licking my face makes me feel like I'm getting kisses from my puppy or something. It's just not sexy. So for any future suitors note to self Andi doesn't like her face licked.
Oh here's another first, usually when someone says kiss my ass it's not very nice..... well for the first time I went out with a guy and had him ask to kiss my ass. I was stunned to say the least. First time going out with this guy about to say goodnight to him and he says can I please kiss your ass? I thought good night kisses were on the lips, but jokes on me, we now get kisses on our butt cheeks to say goodnight.
Oh so yesterday I was walking on the beach and this guy stopped me. He was mildly flirting, asked the basics, name, where are you from, etc and then asked if he could have my number. As he unlocks his phone to take my number he turns his phone to me and shows me a picture of a woman breastfeeding a baby. Of course I am shocked. I mean who wouldn't be right? There is another woman's tit in your face. I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be sexy or win him some extra points some how, but it was just plain weird to me. And he's like isn't it cute?! O_o I guess he saw the puzzled expression on my face and he goes oh it's not my baby. Ummmmm dumb ass the issue here is NOT the baby! The issue here is I am looking at another woman's breast! #uncomfortable I mean come on! How weird is that? And whoever's boob it is I am sure she wouldn't appreciate you going around showing strangers that picture. SMH! Only in my world does asking a girl for her number and showing her a picture of a woman breast feeding go together. Does this kinda stuff really happen to anyone else?!
Oh here's another strange/funny moment for you guys. So I was walking in Tel Aviv and this man is sitting outside at a cafe and he stops me as I walk by. He says, he's 51, single, lives alone, and he's looking for a black woman to be his girlfriend. Immediately I ask myself in my head is this really happening right now? I then start laughing of course because this has to be a joke.... nope he was serious. He asks me why I was laughing. He says he wants a black woman to love and if I am not interested maybe I know someone who is. At this point all I could say was sorry I can't help you and walk away. I mean really?! What did he think I should know all available black women in the city that might be interested in dating him? I'm not a matchmaker, I don't know all the black people, and further more this is not some mail order service sir. You're gonna have to find a woman the same way the rest of us do. Date! I can't just point one out for ya. Sorry. If I was that gifted I'd have found my own man by now! lol
And today was the icing on the cake.... oh gosh after today I am beginning to think I just need to not speak, smile or engage anyone in conversation because I keep having these totally weird experiences with men. Today I was at a cafe studying and this man walks up to me and says hello so I say hello back. I didn't really think anything of it. He walks away and then when he returns asks to sit next to me. We have a brief conversation, he asks my name etc and what I'm doing here. He said he noticed me I'd been sitting here a while and asked if I wanted to come and sit with him and his friends for a while. Shame on me for saying yes. I should know better by now right?! Well this idiot went to sit with him and his friends. lol.
I kept my computer open to continue working though because I have so much shit to do right now. He's like Andi you've been on the computer all day talk to me. So we have more small talk and then he tells me he is going to Cyprus in a month for a wedding and maybe if we're a couple I'll go with him. So I just laugh cause I'm like he can't be serious, I barely know his name I just met this guy. Again epic fail on my part I should know he's not joking by now. So I sit with him a little longer and then I was like I have to go I have work to do I need to get home. So this dude that I met TODAY only a few hours before says ok well just go get your stuff and come back you can move in with me! UMMMMMM WHAT??!!! So at this point I just burst out laughing. He says I'm not joking just come live with me. It'll be good for us, we're in a relationship now! He says I promise you a good life. #stunned I'm speechless. Guys I wish I were making this stuff up but this really just happened.
I still can't tell you how Hi I'm Andi, I'm from the Bahamas and I study at Tel Aviv University turned into an invitation to move in with a man. In fact I don't know how any of the weird shit that happens to me happens, but it seems it only happens in my world. I mean really how do I continue to get myself into these situations?! Please someone else tell me this stuff happens to them. Because if not I really need to reevaluate some things in my life because I can't take anymore of these crazy scenarios.
The past few months I have had nothing short of pure comedic experiences. I mean experiences so weird that I have to laugh not to pity myself and cry. I don't know if I am the only single girl feeling this way, but I swear some of my experiences are so strange I wonder if I am the only person that these things happen to. I have had so many "This really just happened to me" moments recently that I am beginning to wonder.
I am going to share some of the highlights of my weird experiences of the past couple months and if there are any single girls out that want to compare strange experiences I'd appreciate it. It'll help me not feel so alone in my weirdness. LOL.
So where to start.... ok here, let's start with this one. I had a guy lick my face. I'm not opposed to licking at all, but I'd rather you kiss my lips than lick my face. Call me weird if you want but licking my face makes me feel like I'm getting kisses from my puppy or something. It's just not sexy. So for any future suitors note to self Andi doesn't like her face licked.
Oh here's another first, usually when someone says kiss my ass it's not very nice..... well for the first time I went out with a guy and had him ask to kiss my ass. I was stunned to say the least. First time going out with this guy about to say goodnight to him and he says can I please kiss your ass? I thought good night kisses were on the lips, but jokes on me, we now get kisses on our butt cheeks to say goodnight.
Oh so yesterday I was walking on the beach and this guy stopped me. He was mildly flirting, asked the basics, name, where are you from, etc and then asked if he could have my number. As he unlocks his phone to take my number he turns his phone to me and shows me a picture of a woman breastfeeding a baby. Of course I am shocked. I mean who wouldn't be right? There is another woman's tit in your face. I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be sexy or win him some extra points some how, but it was just plain weird to me. And he's like isn't it cute?! O_o I guess he saw the puzzled expression on my face and he goes oh it's not my baby. Ummmmm dumb ass the issue here is NOT the baby! The issue here is I am looking at another woman's breast! #uncomfortable I mean come on! How weird is that? And whoever's boob it is I am sure she wouldn't appreciate you going around showing strangers that picture. SMH! Only in my world does asking a girl for her number and showing her a picture of a woman breast feeding go together. Does this kinda stuff really happen to anyone else?!
Oh here's another strange/funny moment for you guys. So I was walking in Tel Aviv and this man is sitting outside at a cafe and he stops me as I walk by. He says, he's 51, single, lives alone, and he's looking for a black woman to be his girlfriend. Immediately I ask myself in my head is this really happening right now? I then start laughing of course because this has to be a joke.... nope he was serious. He asks me why I was laughing. He says he wants a black woman to love and if I am not interested maybe I know someone who is. At this point all I could say was sorry I can't help you and walk away. I mean really?! What did he think I should know all available black women in the city that might be interested in dating him? I'm not a matchmaker, I don't know all the black people, and further more this is not some mail order service sir. You're gonna have to find a woman the same way the rest of us do. Date! I can't just point one out for ya. Sorry. If I was that gifted I'd have found my own man by now! lol
And today was the icing on the cake.... oh gosh after today I am beginning to think I just need to not speak, smile or engage anyone in conversation because I keep having these totally weird experiences with men. Today I was at a cafe studying and this man walks up to me and says hello so I say hello back. I didn't really think anything of it. He walks away and then when he returns asks to sit next to me. We have a brief conversation, he asks my name etc and what I'm doing here. He said he noticed me I'd been sitting here a while and asked if I wanted to come and sit with him and his friends for a while. Shame on me for saying yes. I should know better by now right?! Well this idiot went to sit with him and his friends. lol.
I kept my computer open to continue working though because I have so much shit to do right now. He's like Andi you've been on the computer all day talk to me. So we have more small talk and then he tells me he is going to Cyprus in a month for a wedding and maybe if we're a couple I'll go with him. So I just laugh cause I'm like he can't be serious, I barely know his name I just met this guy. Again epic fail on my part I should know he's not joking by now. So I sit with him a little longer and then I was like I have to go I have work to do I need to get home. So this dude that I met TODAY only a few hours before says ok well just go get your stuff and come back you can move in with me! UMMMMMM WHAT??!!! So at this point I just burst out laughing. He says I'm not joking just come live with me. It'll be good for us, we're in a relationship now! He says I promise you a good life. #stunned I'm speechless. Guys I wish I were making this stuff up but this really just happened.
I still can't tell you how Hi I'm Andi, I'm from the Bahamas and I study at Tel Aviv University turned into an invitation to move in with a man. In fact I don't know how any of the weird shit that happens to me happens, but it seems it only happens in my world. I mean really how do I continue to get myself into these situations?! Please someone else tell me this stuff happens to them. Because if not I really need to reevaluate some things in my life because I can't take anymore of these crazy scenarios.
LMAO....what weirdo....OHMYLANTA...such crazies.
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