Love, Peace and Nappiness!
Hi my name is Andi and I am 16 months sober! LOL! For those of you that don't know that means I've been off the creamy crack (relaxer) for 16 months now! I started relaxing my hair when I was like 11 or so.... by the time I made the random, on a whim decision to go natural I really couldn't even remember what my hair texture was. The past 16 months began randomly and has been a journey for sure, but my hair is healthier, thicker and grows so much faster now! I am surprisingly enjoying the transition more than I thought I would.
I've been met with some confusion and actually had a guy tell me not to do it, it's not me. Umm, well little did he know that I was already a year in at that point and his approval or opinion was not needed or cared for. I'm still experimenting with styling my hair naturally. Seen as I've not done a big cut of the relaxed ends yet I do end up pressing my hair a lot, so for most people who don't know they can't really tell a difference with my hair. This summer I wore it more natural a lot just because of the heat and it being so difficult to keep straight for long periods of time. I've just worn it wild and curly and not really cared who didn't like it. It was fun! :) I did a twist set once too and that was kinda fun.
Though going natural was a random on a whim decision for me it kinda falls in line for me. I try to eat healthily and use organic/ natural products as much as possible in my food and beauty products so why was I so content on chemically straightening my hair?! I guess I thought I needed it that way. But being natural doesn't mean I can't wear my hair straight, it just gives me more freedom to do as much or as little as I choose to do with my hair! :) So I'm having fun with the challenge and haven't really had much difficulty with it until I moved to Israel.
Being here I have yet to find someone that can properly press my hair. Anyone that knows me knows I don't know how to straighten my hair myself. I am slave to a salon and I really didn't feel guilty about it until now. I didn't think it'd be that hard to find someone to do my hair in Tel Aviv because there is a pretty big African community here and well Israelis seem to have thick curly hair too.... Well I was wrong. I've not been able to find anywhere as yet so I've been struggling to straighten it myself when I want it straight. I've been wearing it curly more too. I actually wore it curly most of this week, but I wanted it straight before leaving for Turkey tomorrow. So I attempted a place and well this lady did a worse job that I could do myself and charged me 100ILS (~$37)! EPIC FAIL! I was pissed. When I visibly looked upset by the job she'd done she then tells me the problem is my hair! I was furious by this comment. Here is this black woman with hair just like mine telling me she can't straighten my hair because I DON'T have a relaxer. My hair is too thick and tough for her to straighten. And to make matters worse she's quite easily sewing a weave into several other women's hair.
So this made me even more upset and only added to the list of reasons why so many women struggle with the idea of going natural. It's so ingrained in us that long straight here is the standard of beauty that women are paying to sew in long strands of someone else's hair or chemically damaging their hair and scalp rather than trying to work with their own hair. I'm not knocking the relaxer or weaves, but I just felt angered that it was if she was telling me those were my only options to have what I wanted. I knew they weren't my only option but in her telling me the problem was my hair that's the message she was sending me.
Then the manager asked if he could straighten it some more for me and get it straighter because he saw I was upset... but all he ended up doing was burning the shit out of my ears and scalp and then he reiterated that the problem was my hair, it was too tough to straighten. Mind you anyone else that has straightened my hair before has never complained about my hair texture. I have one of those strangely course textures that actually once you add some heat to it looks so silky that strangers always ask me if my hair is a weave when it's freshly pressed. I was so irritated that I just told him to stop. I was sick of being burned and too insulted to sit there any longer to have them experiment with my hair.
I guess another positive of this trip to Israel is that I am going to learn to release my dependence on a hair salon and will slowly learn to straighten my own hair the way I like it. I know for sure I'm not gonna pay for anyone else to poorly straighten my hair and insult me anymore. I don't want a relaxer, hence I don't have one, and I am still not sure about weaves. I have never had one before and I have always been an all natural kind of girl and I have this crazy fear of people knowing it's not my hair and it makes me so uncomfortable that I'm just not ready to experiment with that route just yet.
So for now I am going to continue to learn how to do my own hair and forget the judgement I felt today. I don't want a relaxer and that's my choice just like it's other women's choice to do what they want with their hair. So I'm at peace with my nappiness and I'm gonna chuck today up as experience and keep it moving.
Love, peace and nappiness! :)
I've been met with some confusion and actually had a guy tell me not to do it, it's not me. Umm, well little did he know that I was already a year in at that point and his approval or opinion was not needed or cared for. I'm still experimenting with styling my hair naturally. Seen as I've not done a big cut of the relaxed ends yet I do end up pressing my hair a lot, so for most people who don't know they can't really tell a difference with my hair. This summer I wore it more natural a lot just because of the heat and it being so difficult to keep straight for long periods of time. I've just worn it wild and curly and not really cared who didn't like it. It was fun! :) I did a twist set once too and that was kinda fun.
Though going natural was a random on a whim decision for me it kinda falls in line for me. I try to eat healthily and use organic/ natural products as much as possible in my food and beauty products so why was I so content on chemically straightening my hair?! I guess I thought I needed it that way. But being natural doesn't mean I can't wear my hair straight, it just gives me more freedom to do as much or as little as I choose to do with my hair! :) So I'm having fun with the challenge and haven't really had much difficulty with it until I moved to Israel.
Being here I have yet to find someone that can properly press my hair. Anyone that knows me knows I don't know how to straighten my hair myself. I am slave to a salon and I really didn't feel guilty about it until now. I didn't think it'd be that hard to find someone to do my hair in Tel Aviv because there is a pretty big African community here and well Israelis seem to have thick curly hair too.... Well I was wrong. I've not been able to find anywhere as yet so I've been struggling to straighten it myself when I want it straight. I've been wearing it curly more too. I actually wore it curly most of this week, but I wanted it straight before leaving for Turkey tomorrow. So I attempted a place and well this lady did a worse job that I could do myself and charged me 100ILS (~$37)! EPIC FAIL! I was pissed. When I visibly looked upset by the job she'd done she then tells me the problem is my hair! I was furious by this comment. Here is this black woman with hair just like mine telling me she can't straighten my hair because I DON'T have a relaxer. My hair is too thick and tough for her to straighten. And to make matters worse she's quite easily sewing a weave into several other women's hair.
So this made me even more upset and only added to the list of reasons why so many women struggle with the idea of going natural. It's so ingrained in us that long straight here is the standard of beauty that women are paying to sew in long strands of someone else's hair or chemically damaging their hair and scalp rather than trying to work with their own hair. I'm not knocking the relaxer or weaves, but I just felt angered that it was if she was telling me those were my only options to have what I wanted. I knew they weren't my only option but in her telling me the problem was my hair that's the message she was sending me.
Then the manager asked if he could straighten it some more for me and get it straighter because he saw I was upset... but all he ended up doing was burning the shit out of my ears and scalp and then he reiterated that the problem was my hair, it was too tough to straighten. Mind you anyone else that has straightened my hair before has never complained about my hair texture. I have one of those strangely course textures that actually once you add some heat to it looks so silky that strangers always ask me if my hair is a weave when it's freshly pressed. I was so irritated that I just told him to stop. I was sick of being burned and too insulted to sit there any longer to have them experiment with my hair.
I guess another positive of this trip to Israel is that I am going to learn to release my dependence on a hair salon and will slowly learn to straighten my own hair the way I like it. I know for sure I'm not gonna pay for anyone else to poorly straighten my hair and insult me anymore. I don't want a relaxer, hence I don't have one, and I am still not sure about weaves. I have never had one before and I have always been an all natural kind of girl and I have this crazy fear of people knowing it's not my hair and it makes me so uncomfortable that I'm just not ready to experiment with that route just yet.
So for now I am going to continue to learn how to do my own hair and forget the judgement I felt today. I don't want a relaxer and that's my choice just like it's other women's choice to do what they want with their hair. So I'm at peace with my nappiness and I'm gonna chuck today up as experience and keep it moving.
Love, peace and nappiness! :)
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