Single Girl Woes
I will go ahead and give the disclaimer that I don't want anyone to feel guilty or any sort of way about this post.... I'm just expressing my feelings.
So remember how I said all of my friends are getting married and starting families etc.... well going along with that theme... there is an old saying that I remember hearing. Something along the lines of when you get married the ways of your single life go out the window. This totally makes sense and I agree that life when married or in a committed relationship will change. I guess I never spent the time to think about how it'd change my friendships too.
Over the past couple of years more of my friends have gotten married and started families... we're kinda at the age, like I said before. However when you're the single one and all your friends have moved on into another phase in life, your relationship slowly but surely starts to dissolve.
You either become your married friends pet project and it's operation find her a husband and you're thrown every single guy they know OR you slowly get left out of stuff. I've actually had a friend's husband ask me "what's wrong with me? When am I gonna get married?" (This kinda stung not gonna lie) The married friends unite and get closer because well now they have more in common. They have husbands and kids to juggle, work and taking care of a house and all of the other stuff that comes with being married. In-laws, shared bank accounts, life insurance, baby sitters... etc. Stuff as a single person I just don't have to worry about.
So I've noticed that the dynamics of these really close friendships I had a few years ago have slowly changed. That's not to say that I feel I've been dumped or anything. I've just noticed that with changing priorities making time to hang out or speak to me becomes lower on the to do list. Things have undoubtedly changed. The relationships of friends that are married have grown and they are more connected and in touch with each other.
It sucks because there are moments when I do want to talk to my friends and I feel guilty to call or write because I'm like they have so many other things to deal with they don't have time to listen to me whine about this. Which before I'd never think of. Or sometimes I have moments where I just miss my friends and am nostalgic about old times and it baffles me how we got from this tight bond where we spoke all the time and spent so much time together to where you hardly speak at all and you feel so disconnected from their lives. Is this normal? Do lots of other single people experience this with their now married friends? Or is this just a telling factor about my friendships? I don't know the answer. I hope it just means life has gotten in the way and at some point we'll all get to a place where we don't feel so disconnected.
As the single girl you just have completely different woes than the married or committed friends. I guess only time will tell how the stories of my friendships progress. Hopefully it doesn't end with the single girl totally being Xed out of the equation. Friendships change and evolve but I'd hate to think that marriage means that I have to lose friends. If anyone has gone through this and has suggestions of how to be the single friend amongst all the married people and make the friendship work let me know. I'm sure my #singlegirlwoes will have more stories to be told.
So remember how I said all of my friends are getting married and starting families etc.... well going along with that theme... there is an old saying that I remember hearing. Something along the lines of when you get married the ways of your single life go out the window. This totally makes sense and I agree that life when married or in a committed relationship will change. I guess I never spent the time to think about how it'd change my friendships too.
Over the past couple of years more of my friends have gotten married and started families... we're kinda at the age, like I said before. However when you're the single one and all your friends have moved on into another phase in life, your relationship slowly but surely starts to dissolve.
You either become your married friends pet project and it's operation find her a husband and you're thrown every single guy they know OR you slowly get left out of stuff. I've actually had a friend's husband ask me "what's wrong with me? When am I gonna get married?" (This kinda stung not gonna lie) The married friends unite and get closer because well now they have more in common. They have husbands and kids to juggle, work and taking care of a house and all of the other stuff that comes with being married. In-laws, shared bank accounts, life insurance, baby sitters... etc. Stuff as a single person I just don't have to worry about.
So I've noticed that the dynamics of these really close friendships I had a few years ago have slowly changed. That's not to say that I feel I've been dumped or anything. I've just noticed that with changing priorities making time to hang out or speak to me becomes lower on the to do list. Things have undoubtedly changed. The relationships of friends that are married have grown and they are more connected and in touch with each other.
It sucks because there are moments when I do want to talk to my friends and I feel guilty to call or write because I'm like they have so many other things to deal with they don't have time to listen to me whine about this. Which before I'd never think of. Or sometimes I have moments where I just miss my friends and am nostalgic about old times and it baffles me how we got from this tight bond where we spoke all the time and spent so much time together to where you hardly speak at all and you feel so disconnected from their lives. Is this normal? Do lots of other single people experience this with their now married friends? Or is this just a telling factor about my friendships? I don't know the answer. I hope it just means life has gotten in the way and at some point we'll all get to a place where we don't feel so disconnected.
As the single girl you just have completely different woes than the married or committed friends. I guess only time will tell how the stories of my friendships progress. Hopefully it doesn't end with the single girl totally being Xed out of the equation. Friendships change and evolve but I'd hate to think that marriage means that I have to lose friends. If anyone has gone through this and has suggestions of how to be the single friend amongst all the married people and make the friendship work let me know. I'm sure my #singlegirlwoes will have more stories to be told.
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