Ms. Manners
It may be the fact that I grew up with a "no-nonsense" mama, or the fact that I went to a proper British boarding school, or maybe because I lived in the South for so long, but I believe in being polite and minding your manners. I've come to realize that here in Israel this is not as common.
People don't say good morning when they see you in the street. They rarely say excuse me if they're trying to pass by and they are quick to cut you off in line or push by you if you're moving through a congested space. Polite smiles when you make eye contact with a person aren't reciprocated and more often that not I've gotten uncomfortable stares (longer than a casual glance). This is definitely not what I'm accustomed to.
In several instances I've had people push by me as I'm trying to enter a building or anything short of running me over to get past without so much as an "excuse me" or "I'm sorry". My roommate actually told me when we were walking through the mall one day, "you don't have to move out of the way for people to pass they don't really do that here"....Seems like I may have to be slightly more aggressive while living here though I'm not sure I want to lose my polite charm.
It is quite aggravating when you're used to people being polite and somewhat pleasant to be in an environment where it's almost as if people completely disregard your presence. One such moment was the other day my roommates and I were in line at the mall and this girl blatantly cut in front of us. My roommate Shoshana said to her that she had cut in front of us and she copped an attitude. As if to say, "How dare we confront her for jumping the line.... who did we think we were?!" I wasn't necessarily offended by her jumping the line so much as the attitude she gave after being told that she skipped. Usually if that happened elsewhere the person would be apologetic and say where does the line end and move behind. Lines can be blurred when cueing sometimes in stores so it's an innocent mistake to make, but not in this instance.
This chick decided to act a damn fool, when addressed politely. In that moment the Ludacris hook "Move Bitch Get Out the Way" started playing in my head and I started to become upset. At this point all there was left for me to do was pray because if I'd responded to her in that state I might have punched her and ended up arrested. I'm usually not a violent person, in fact, I've never been in a physical altercation in my life, but there are just certain moments when people can make your blood boil so bad that it takes everything inside you not to knock the shit out of them.
I guess it's a testament to the fact that in different cultures different customs are more or less acceptable. I do however believe that blatantly rude is pretty standard across the board. So I'll continue to be polite, but know that my pleasantries may not always be accepted. I however willl not be ok with blatant disregard for my presence. Let's hope that rude chick in line at the mall was my first and last brush with rude people because I really don't want that Ludacris hook playing in my head again, I may find it hard to mind my manners next time.
People don't say good morning when they see you in the street. They rarely say excuse me if they're trying to pass by and they are quick to cut you off in line or push by you if you're moving through a congested space. Polite smiles when you make eye contact with a person aren't reciprocated and more often that not I've gotten uncomfortable stares (longer than a casual glance). This is definitely not what I'm accustomed to.
In several instances I've had people push by me as I'm trying to enter a building or anything short of running me over to get past without so much as an "excuse me" or "I'm sorry". My roommate actually told me when we were walking through the mall one day, "you don't have to move out of the way for people to pass they don't really do that here"....Seems like I may have to be slightly more aggressive while living here though I'm not sure I want to lose my polite charm.
It is quite aggravating when you're used to people being polite and somewhat pleasant to be in an environment where it's almost as if people completely disregard your presence. One such moment was the other day my roommates and I were in line at the mall and this girl blatantly cut in front of us. My roommate Shoshana said to her that she had cut in front of us and she copped an attitude. As if to say, "How dare we confront her for jumping the line.... who did we think we were?!" I wasn't necessarily offended by her jumping the line so much as the attitude she gave after being told that she skipped. Usually if that happened elsewhere the person would be apologetic and say where does the line end and move behind. Lines can be blurred when cueing sometimes in stores so it's an innocent mistake to make, but not in this instance.
This chick decided to act a damn fool, when addressed politely. In that moment the Ludacris hook "Move Bitch Get Out the Way" started playing in my head and I started to become upset. At this point all there was left for me to do was pray because if I'd responded to her in that state I might have punched her and ended up arrested. I'm usually not a violent person, in fact, I've never been in a physical altercation in my life, but there are just certain moments when people can make your blood boil so bad that it takes everything inside you not to knock the shit out of them.
I guess it's a testament to the fact that in different cultures different customs are more or less acceptable. I do however believe that blatantly rude is pretty standard across the board. So I'll continue to be polite, but know that my pleasantries may not always be accepted. I however willl not be ok with blatant disregard for my presence. Let's hope that rude chick in line at the mall was my first and last brush with rude people because I really don't want that Ludacris hook playing in my head again, I may find it hard to mind my manners next time.
OMG I totally know what you mean with going to a new place and learning not all know what manners is.
ReplyDeleteJust moved to China and people here have 0 manners, queue barging is their birth right, waiting for an elevator full of people to exit before you enter is a foreign concept and please and thank you's - don't think they were ever taught to say such words.
I think we got lucky learning our manners and just cause we are in a foreign place that don't have them doesn't mean we need to forget them and follow suit.
This is amazing that you've adjusted so well in Israel. Really proud of you.
Shyamla x